Over the past few days, when I really should have focused my attention on schoolwork (just kidding, I’m still fairly ahead in my classes, but still), I have been on a mission. And that mission is finding some awesome vintage clothes.
I don’t know exactly what suddenly sparked my interest. But I feel like my eyes opened up and I fell in love with the hippie and bohemian style. Not saying that I haven’t ever eyed it in the past or already own a few pieces that dabble in that direction, but I think for a long time I found the style out of my range. You’ve probably had those thoughts before, too, especially with today’s fashion world: looking at your body shape/hair/eyes/whatever, maybe you should wear something else instead.
As a teenager, I have become increasingly fascinated by fashion. Except I’ve only had access to about two stores in my hometown and whatever is online. Even as I began caring more about what I wore and tried developing a personal style, I didn’t really have a specific idea in mind. I just chose whatever I liked and just went with it.And although I accumulated a multitude of clothes, I was never really satisfied.
In the past year, I mentally made a mission to start investing in higher qualities clothes I could keep for years, that were classic and timeless. Which in retrospect is very practical. Except I’ve really lost an inspiration in my wardrobe. Sure, having every color of neutral is nice, but I was missing my personal stamp. People have commented about how well I dress, especially compared to usual attire of a college student, but if I’m not excited about my outfit, does it really matter? Realistically, we’re not dressing to the nine’s every day. I’m certainly not. But I at least want to look at my wardrobe and get excited.
One particular aspect of clothing for a long time bothered me to no end: picking sizes. Or in my case, striving for certain insignificant numbers to find some sort of fulfillment and accomplishment. As for many other people, the pants and jeans shopping is always the most stressful. But even as my mindset has improved, for a long time I still had certain ideas about clothes in the back of my head that prevented me from really exploring my style. I still avoided buying new pants. I liked certain cuts and shapes that highlighted how small I might be. Or if I questioned how “big” I looked in certain clothes, I would spend my day looking in the mirror or at myself, making my self-conscious over essentially nothing.
Within this past week, I have come to realize how truly pointless these worries are. Different types of clothing are meant for us to express ourselves. And clothing sizes vary so much between items and stores that focusing on your attention on a number is absurd. If we could, it would be so nice to just rip off all of the tags and just find whatever fits us best and makes us feel comfortable, but alas, I’m no fashion god.
After all of this time simply sticking to the basics and not deviating much from standard outfits, I’m really craving experimentation. I want my clothes to feel like my own and not necessarily a remake of the same solid-colored tee and pants as everybody else goes for. I want to learn how to find some awesome items from thrift shops. I want to buy some vintage sweaters and flannel. I want to wear band tees and tie dye and bell bottoms. I want clothes drenched in color and patterns and textures.
I’ve come to understand that clothes should be a reflection of your personality. And my personality is anything but basic. My style isn’t necessarily the “in” thing. But neither am I. Heck, I still use slang terms that aren’t relevant anymore and innately throw up the peace sign. If that means any thoughts I had about becoming a minimalist and starting a capsule wardrobe are thrown out the window, so be it.
Obviously I’m just one person. Style is a very personal thing. Whatever clothes make you happy, go for it. But if you’re looking at your clothes always feeling uninspired, don’t be afraid to change it up. We are much more than 20-or-so interchangeable items. We are diverse beings limitless in potential. Do I fear I’ll constantly be searching for an ideal goal I will never let myself reach? Sure, I always am. But I’ve learned that clothing goes so much further beyond the body wearing them. I’m not a model or fashion expert. I’m just me. And once I actually focus on that, I can start listening to myself for the first time in a long time, without a cloud of disorder blocking my way.
So if that means I’m spending hours on the hunt for particular pieces, that’s fine. I’ll still get my homework done. But I’m so excited to feel like I’m finally listening to my truest, rawest self, and I dig her vibes.
Take care, and keep the faith. -Allie